Deployments can be a challenging time for military spouses. As employers, finding ways to support team members whose spouses are deployed can help create a nurturing environment and a healthy workplace culture for all. And, often, we don’t know where to start.
Our friends at VAUSA have put together a guide for employers to provide meaningful support for military spouses – from the initial stages of preparation for deployment to the challenges of reintegration. Thoughtful actions and consistent communication can help make a difference in the lives of our military families.
Brett and Mary Elaine Baker, founders of VAUSA have lived the military life and experienced firsthand the joys, challenges, and hardships of service. From their heart to serve Christ, serve others, and support the military community they founded VAUSA and are committed to sharing His truth with clients, contractors, and the community by serving them according to principles that honor and glorify Him.
Click to view and download the PDF:
BEFORE DEPLOYMENT:
OPEN COMMUNICATION
· Have an open discussion with the military spouse team member about deployment dates, length of time they’ll be gone, how many days they think they will need/want off before and after. Also discuss any dates during the deployment they’ll want time off for if they have children and will be solo parenting, etc. Determine if coverage will be necessary during their days off. Understand if this is their first or 10th deployment, this is always challenging, and your team member will experience a myriad of emotions throughout each phase. This is normal! They need to know that they are heard and supported. They do not need to mask their realities.
ACTS OF SERVICE, KINDNESS, AND CARE
· Consider starting a meal train for them once the spouse is deployed. Ask for permission and share with the rest of the team or individuals to be able to contribute. Be sure to ask about any allergies/sensitivities there may be within the home. Ask if you can have the deployed member’s APO address once they get it so you and/or team members can send care packages. This is also a great team-building activity!
· Gather a list of the military spouse and military member’s favorites. EX: snacks, restaurants, fast food, places to shop, hobbies, etc.
· Send the team member and the service member each a copy of The 5 Love Languages Military Edition.
· Read this helpful article on what NOT to say, and what to say to a military spouse during a deployment.
· Determine a monthly budget for caring for the military spouse if necessary.
Determine who will take point in executing the care initiatives and meet with them to discuss the plans and remove any necessary obstacles.
· Consider gifting a photographer session to capture family photos before the deployment.
DURING DEPLOYMENT:
PRACTICAL CARE, ENCOURAGEMENT and SUPPORT:
· Start the meal train and resend monthly or as needed.
· Send a monthly or quarterly care package to the deployed military member’s APO address.
· Send a monthly or quarterly care package or gift a service to the military spouse.
· Have other team members send handwritten cards of encouragement to the affected team member, their service member, and their children.
· If you have a company chaplain, remind the team member that they are available any time they need someone to talk to.
· Recognize holidays, children’s birthdays and military couple’s wedding anniversary if they fall during deployment dates. These are often very bitter-sweet for the family members because they cannot experience these milestones and special moments with their loved ones together.
· Send interactive/experience gifts the team member can do with their children. Research local events that they may want to attend and consider sending them tickets if they’re available.
· Check-in with the team member with a deployed spouse frequently, just to see how they are, ask for prayer requests etc. Actively listen for opportunities to support them practically.
KEEP IN MIND:
The military spouse may be informed of an estimated return date, but please remember that the date often changes, and the morale of the military spouse may be impacted by the disappointment and whiplash. Once it’s clear the date is more certain, have a discussion with the team member about the length of time they will want off. Everyone is different in how much time they desire, especially if it’s their first deployment vs many deployments in, how long they spent apart, and if children are involved.
AFTER DEPLOYMENT:
· Send a “Welcome Home” gift basket. Can be hand-picked or use pre-prepared services. This could also be a great way to encourage team-building and allow the team to contribute to the gifting.
· Consider sending the couple to a weekend marriage retreat to help with their reintegration.
· Be compassionate and patient with your team member. Although being reunited with their loved one is worth celebrating and is a relief, the reintegration period can be a rough adjustment for all family members.
· Check in to see how they’re doing and just be aware it can take several weeks to months for them to get back to “normal” as a family.
ADDITIONAL GIFTING IDEAS:
Services: Housekeeping services, spa gift certificates, paid sitter services, meal delivery services.
Other Gifts: Books (physical or audio), “All About Me” baskets with favorite snacks and items, military-focused Bible studies, chocolate strawberries, funny military spouse mugs.
Gifts for Children: Zoo or museum memberships, sensory play kits, bug catcher kits, sensory light switch boards, Lego kits, friendship bracelet-making kits, Brave Books gift certificates, or dinosaur building sets.
Gifts for the Family: Table Talk or Couple Convo cards, “memory chain” kits to celebrate the return, board games, military family books.
Welcome Home Gift Basket Ideas:
A “Date-Night-In” basket with aprons, an Italian cookbook, pasta, and beverages.
A wine and charcuterie basket.
An “A-Day-Away” basket with accessories for a specific activity (e.g., beach day with towels, sunglasses, water bottles).
Gift certificates for local photographers to capture the homecoming.
Gift certificates to their favorite local establishments or experiences they can enjoy as a couple or family.
Monthly Care Package or Gifting Ideas: Consider sending small monthly or quarterly gifts to show ongoing support and care.
About the Authors
Brett and Mary Elaine Baker
In 2017 Mary Elaine was feeling burnt out after holding her family together through 7 combat deployments and months of her husband, Brett, being gone training around the country while teaching elementary school. She decided to leave her career in education and began supporting business owners remotely. Remote work brought a much-needed balance to her life and allowed her to adapt to the frequent challenges of a military lifestyle and raising young children. This opportunity was a true blessing to the Baker family and very quickly they felt God calling them to share this opportunity with other military families. With the military spouse unemployment rate at 21%, VAUSA helps provide military spouses a job that they can take wherever their service members are moved to, solving their biggest impediment to steady work. Jobs are just a vehicle for the true purpose. Brett and Mary Elaine believe they are uniquely positioned to pour into young military families to help prevent the tragically high rates of divorce and suicide in the military community. They do this by pouring into their team through chaplaincy, bible studies, marriage retreats, and numerous initiatives meant to enrich the lives of their team members. Through using their business as a ministry, prioritizing their people over profit, and using their God-given gifts to serve others, Brett and Mary Elaine steward their business to build their people, not their people to build their business.