Avoid America’s Favorite Pastime

What is America’s favorite pastime? Some people would have you think it is baseball. Afterall, it is called the “National Pastime.” True, a lot of people attend all types of baseball games…from little league to major league games. Some people think baseball is a bit slow. Someone once said that baseball is 15 minutes of action packed into 3 hours! Some people believe golf is the national pastime. It certainly has continued to gain popularity and participants over the years. Personally, I don’t like to play golf because I stand too close to the ball … after I hit it!!

However, there is another pastime that Americans are crazy about. Despite its popularity, this pastime should be avoided at all times!

It is called “transference of blame.” It is easy to blame others for our condition, our problems, our state in life. We do it all the time:

“Mom, it isn’t my fault I failed that test. You see, the teachers asked questions from the book! I thought they’d be from his lectures!”

“Boss, it’s not my fault the customer didn’t buy. I showed up at 1:45 … for the 1:00 appointment!”

Of course it’s not our fault that we do this. The blame goes to Adam and Eve. They started it all! God asked Adam if he’d eaten the fruit. Adam said, “Lord, let me tell you about that woman you gave me.” Eve said it was the serpent’s fault … and we all know that the snake didn’t have a leg to stand on!

We are responsible for our thoughts and our actions. We are responsible for our hits and our misses. We are responsible for our success and our mistakes. If others are responsible for our success, then we need to invest in those people! We need to send them to schools and to seminars and to educate them. Once they are better, we will get better. Once they are great, our lives will be great! No, I don’t think so.

You know that it doesn’t work that way. We must stop blaming others. We must stand on our own and make our own way in this world. We all need to avoid the pastime of “transference of blame!”

ON TAPPING INTO THE STRENGTH WITHIN YOU

Colossians 2: 9-10. For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority. The most readily accessible growth in our Christian walk will come from a deeper acceptance of what God has already promised.

We trust God for our eternity, but question whether he’ll handle the meeting, the situation or the problem.

If I had to put a percentage to it, I’d say that 99% of the value and effectiveness of our day-to-day Christian experience comes from our capacity to connect with God’s promises… owning the amazing work, love and peace He has said is already done in each of us. The rest is allowing the momentum of that clarity and belief to drive all we are and everything we do - with that easy yoke and light burden we hear about but seldom experience. God was careful to make hundreds of tangible promises about our value, the strength we possess, the favor we have and that He has gone before us, is with us, and will deal with the aftermath in ALL things. For many, these empowering truths remain somewhere between back-of-mind and nowhere-to-be-seen as we move through day-to-day activities, challenges and opportunities. Subscribing to four realities can transform everything about our life if we filter them through the lens of what is already done, not what is coming: 1. What God has said about who He is. 2. The intense power and wisdom we have in Him. 3. The value He will deliver in all present circumstances. 4. The endless blessings He will provide in what is to come.

Taking ownership of His specific promises before any conversation, meeting, initiative or vision will bring a peace, confidence and awareness that passes our understanding. As for the outcomes, they will be nothing short of, well… what He has already promised!

The Big Question: What would my life be like if I walked in the full awareness and acceptance of what God has already promised me?

Problem vs. Tension

Admit it. We feel better when we are solving problems, fixing things, repairing stuff, or creating something new. As business owners / leaders we pride ourselves based on DOING. We are not fond of unresolved issues lingering around much. Yet, not all “issues” may be meant to be solved! In fact, solving an issue may generate more problems and unwanted side effects. So it is important to distinguish between a problem to solve or a tension to manage. For leaders, we are tempted to solve things or do things ourselves when those we serve come to us and interrupt our work. By “solving” this problem by making ourselves less accessible, the message sent could be we are unapproachable, we do not care, and so forth. Other common dilemmas … customizing / tailoring our products and services to our clients / customers vs. developing efficiencies by systematizing our deliverables, attracting the best talent vs. managing costs, being flexible and understanding vs. holding people accountable and managing performance.

Similarly, as parents we might lean into the urge to do or fix things for our children, rather than allowing them to struggle and make mistakes. Seeing these situations a problems to solve, we hinder growth and development.

The alternative is reframing these situations as tensions to manage. It is embracing the dissonance and friction and polarity that enables us to look beyond the current issue. Reframing prompts us to rephrase the question from focusing on the problem (e.g., How can I fix this?) to focusing on the tension (e.g., How can I do this AND this?). This is similar to polarity thinking which shifts the perspective from either / or (problem) to both / and (tension). What is the upside of each position? What is the downside? How do we access the best of both while avoiding as much of the negative as possible?

To aid ourselves in determining if we have a tension to manage or a problem to solve consider the following …

• Balance. Are there valid positions on both sides of the issue?

• Risk. If you solve this issue, is there an apparent risk? What’s at stake … short-term and long-term?

• Creativity. By seeing this issue as a tension with two or more sides, is creativity sparked?

A final thought … when dealing with people and relationships, we are instructed to “love one another.” Thus, our default position and starting point with human beings — who are made in the image and likeness of God — is LOVE. And LOVE may be the ultimate tension to manage!

Knowing Before Fixing

“You can’t repair something if you don’t know how it works.” These words of wisdom were shared by a city maintenance supervisor at a recent leadership class I delivered. We were discussing the characteristics of great leadership.

Not being gifted with much talent at all for fixing or maintaining things, I realized this simple practical statement ascends beyond “things” and also is true for people and relationships. Stephen Covey made famous the habit of “seek first to understand, then to be understood.” The intention is similar … if I want to improve, fix, change, understand, alter, positively impact someone or something — it requires knowing how he/she/it works first! And knowing how someone or something works demands study, observation, learning, and analysis — it calls for investing time with the “owners manual” for that person or thing first, prior to getting out the toolbox and “fixing.”

Power, Position, Prestige…or a Life Well Spent?

What do you imagine your ‘last words’ might be? Someone was listening in to a few famous people as they breathed their last; here’s what they said. “I'm bored with it all.” (Before slipping into a coma.)  ~~ Winston Churchill, statesman, died January 24, 1965

“How were the circus receipts in Madison Square Gardens?”  ~~ P. T. Barnum, Circus Promoter, died 1891

“All my possessions for a moment of time.”  ~~ Queen Elizabeth I, Queen of England, d. 1603

Business leader Malcolm Forbes's life emphasized the epicurean philosophy, “Eat, drink, and be merry – for tomorrow we may die.” He was famous for denying himself nothing that money could buy. Malcolm threw himself a birthday party for his eightieth birthday that cost $1,000,000. The party favors were amazing! He flew two or three hundred of his closest friends to Tangier in a chartered 747 jet. He knew, and was known by, every important person in the world of politics and finance. He built one of the world’s great fortunes as one of its foremost publishers. It seems that Mr. Forbes philosophy of life would be that we should strive to see, taste, hear, experience, or possess as much of the world’s various valued faire as possible before the time to depart it comes. I wonder what his last words were!

Actually Solomon, the Bible king was richer than Malcolm Forbes. He pursued meaning in things, in work, in money and in entertainment. Listen in to his words,

“I also tried to find meaning by building huge homes for myself and by planting beautiful vineyards. I made gardens and parks, filling them with all kinds of fruit trees. I built reservoirs to collect the water to irrigate my many flourishing groves. I bought slaves, both men and women, and others were born into my household. I also owned great herds and flocks, more than any of the kings who lived in Jerusalem before me. I collected great sums of silver and gold, the treasure of many kings and provinces. I hired wonderful singers, both men and women, and had many beautiful concubines. I had everything a man could desire! So I became greater than any of the kings who ruled in Jerusalem before me. And with it all, I remained clear-eyed so that I could evaluate all these things. Anything I wanted, I took. I did not restrain myself from any joy. I even found great pleasure in hard work, an additional reward for all my labors.” Ecclesiastes 2:4-11

You may come to the end of your life’s journey with a large amount of wealth or you may be honored by your peers for your accomplishments. But what do you suppose it might all mean to you as you face your last moments on earth? Do you suppose that you might hold a stock portfolio to your chest and gain comfort by looking at the number of shares on the certificate? The house that you own, the backyard renovation, the new carpet or the car…none of which you’ll ever see again… how much will they mean then? Likely not much at all. As you slip across the threshold into the arms of God, they’ll mean even less…actually nothing at all unless they were used for lasting purposes.

The Apostle Paul who was mentored by Jesus Christ had it all, the social status, the recognition, the power. He could even throw his enemies into jail. He was respected by the existing religious authorities of his day, he was an ‘up and comer’, “of the stock of Israel, a member of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews, a Pharisee.” He said all of those status symbols, the power, prestige, position type things, became “rubbish” to him when he met Jesus Christ.

What in the world would make him change his mind about things like that? Why would he give up the power and access to affluence? Paul believed that there are things that are even more important than power, position and prestige. He believed in eternal things. He knew that, “You cannot serve both God and money.”

How about you?  What are you striving for? Who are you trying to be like? When Saul of Tarsus met Jesus Christ, he either gradually or immediately, stopped pursuing the status and values of this world. He, either slowly or immediately, began to pursue only those things that would promote and proclaim the great news of hope and meaning and purpose that is found in Jesus Christ. To him life became, “forgetting those things that are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Jesus Christ.”

We only have so many assets to invest. Our assets are the amount of time we have left, the money that we control, the relationships we have, and the package of gifts and talents that God has given us. Investing them to honor God and proclaim the kingdom of God is why we’re on earth. How about you? Have you invested well on earth so that your dying words will reflect an eternal legacy?

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Greg Leith was born in Canada and has lived in all four corners of North America. His career spans over 35 years of senior leadership roles in corporate, nonprofit and academic sectors. He is currently the CEO of Convene , a nationwide group of hundreds of faith based CEO’s learning together to grow exceptional businesses, become higher-impact leaders and honor God. He serves on various boards related to his passion of faith integrated with the marketplace, and he loves helping people get clarity on mission and purpose as a certified life coach. Married for over 35 years to his wife Shelley, he’s the father and friend of five thriving young adults. He and Shelley love to speak on marriage and parenting for FamilyLife, and they live in Southern California.