Military Spouse Deployment Care Plan: A Comprehensive Guide for Employers

Deployments can be a challenging time for military spouses. As employers, finding ways to support team members whose spouses are deployed can help create a nurturing environment and a healthy workplace culture for all.  And, often, we don’t know where to start.

Our friends at VAUSA have put together a guide for employers to provide meaningful support for military spouses – from the initial stages of preparation for deployment to the challenges of reintegration. Thoughtful actions and consistent communication can help make a difference in the lives of our military families.

Brett and Mary Elaine Baker, founders of VAUSA have lived the military life and experienced firsthand the joys, challenges, and hardships of service. From their heart to serve Christ, serve others, and support the military community they founded VAUSA and are committed to sharing His truth with clients, contractors, and the community by serving them according to principles that honor and glorify Him.

Click to view and download the PDF:

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BEFORE DEPLOYMENT:

OPEN COMMUNICATION

·      Have an open discussion with the military spouse team member about deployment dates, length of time they’ll be gone, how many days they think they will need/want off before and after. Also discuss any dates during the deployment they’ll want time off for if they have children and will be solo parenting, etc. Determine if coverage will be necessary during their days off. Understand if this is their first or 10th deployment, this is always challenging, and your team member will experience a myriad of emotions throughout each phase. This is normal! They need to know that they are heard and supported. They do not need to mask their realities.

ACTS OF SERVICE, KINDNESS, AND CARE

·      Consider starting a meal train for them once the spouse is deployed. Ask for permission and share with the rest of the team or individuals to be able to contribute. Be sure to ask about any allergies/sensitivities there may be within the home. Ask if you can have the deployed member’s APO address once they get it so you and/or team members can send care packages. This is also a great team-building activity!

·      Gather a list of the military spouse and military member’s favorites. EX: snacks, restaurants, fast food, places to shop, hobbies, etc.

·      Send the team member and the service member each a copy of The 5 Love Languages Military Edition.

·      Read this helpful article on what NOT to say, and what to say to a military spouse during a deployment.

·      Determine a monthly budget for caring for the military spouse if necessary.
Determine who will take point in executing the care initiatives and meet with them to discuss the plans and remove any necessary obstacles.

·      Consider gifting a photographer session to capture family photos before the deployment.

DURING DEPLOYMENT:

PRACTICAL CARE, ENCOURAGEMENT and SUPPORT: 

·      Start the meal train and resend monthly or as needed.

·      Send a monthly or quarterly care package to the deployed military member’s APO address.

·      Send a monthly or quarterly care package or gift a service to the military spouse.

·      Have other team members send handwritten cards of encouragement to the affected team member, their service member, and their children.

·      If you have a company chaplain, remind the team member that they are available any time they need someone to talk to.

·      Recognize holidays, children’s birthdays and military couple’s wedding anniversary if they fall during deployment dates. These are often very bitter-sweet for the family members because they cannot experience these milestones and special moments with their loved ones together.

·      Send interactive/experience gifts the team member can do with their children. Research local events that they may want to attend and consider sending them tickets if they’re available.

·      Check-in with the team member with a deployed spouse frequently, just to see how they are, ask for prayer requests etc. Actively listen for opportunities to support them practically.

KEEP IN MIND:

The military spouse may be informed of an estimated return date, but please remember that the date often changes, and the morale of the military spouse may be impacted by the disappointment and whiplash. Once it’s clear the date is more certain, have a discussion with the team member about the length of time they will want off. Everyone is different in how much time they desire, especially if it’s their first deployment vs many deployments in, how long they spent apart, and if children are involved.

AFTER DEPLOYMENT:

·      Send a “Welcome Home” gift basket. Can be hand-picked or use pre-prepared services. This could also be a great way to encourage team-building and allow the team to contribute to the gifting.

·      Consider sending the couple to a weekend marriage retreat to help with their reintegration.

·      Be compassionate and patient with your team member. Although being reunited with their loved one is worth celebrating and is a relief, the reintegration period can be a rough adjustment for all family members.

·      Check in to see how they’re doing and just be aware it can take several weeks to months for them to get back to “normal” as a family.

ADDITIONAL GIFTING IDEAS:

• Services: Housekeeping services, spa gift certificates, paid sitter services, meal delivery services.

• Other Gifts: Books (physical or audio), “All About Me” baskets with favorite snacks and items, military-focused Bible studies, chocolate strawberries, funny military spouse mugs.

• Gifts for Children: Zoo or museum memberships, sensory play kits, bug catcher kits, sensory light switch boards, Lego kits, friendship bracelet-making kits, Brave Books gift certificates, or dinosaur building sets.

• Gifts for the Family: Table Talk or Couple Convo cards, “memory chain” kits to celebrate the return, board games, military family books.

• Welcome Home Gift Basket Ideas:

• A “Date-Night-In” basket with aprons, an Italian cookbook, pasta, and beverages.

• A wine and charcuterie basket.

• An “A-Day-Away” basket with accessories for a specific activity (e.g., beach day with towels, sunglasses, water bottles).

• Gift certificates for local photographers to capture the homecoming.

• Gift certificates to their favorite local establishments or experiences they can enjoy as a couple or family.

• Monthly Care Package or Gifting Ideas: Consider sending small monthly or quarterly gifts to show ongoing support and care.

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About the Authors

Brett and Mary Elaine Baker

In 2017 Mary Elaine was feeling burnt out after holding her family together through 7 combat deployments and months of her husband, Brett, being gone training around the country while teaching elementary school. She decided to leave her career in education and began supporting business owners remotely. Remote work brought a much-needed balance to her life and allowed her to adapt to the frequent challenges of a military lifestyle and raising young children. This opportunity was a true blessing to the Baker family and very quickly they felt God calling them to share this opportunity with other military families. With the military spouse unemployment rate at 21%, VAUSA helps provide military spouses a job that they can take wherever their service members are moved to, solving their biggest impediment to steady work. Jobs are just a vehicle for the true purpose. Brett and Mary Elaine believe they are uniquely positioned to pour into young military families to help prevent the tragically high rates of divorce and suicide in the military community. They do this by pouring into their team through chaplaincy, bible studies, marriage retreats, and numerous initiatives meant to enrich the lives of their team members. Through using their business as a ministry, prioritizing their people over profit, and using their God-given gifts to serve others, Brett and Mary Elaine steward their business to build their people, not their people to build their business. 

The Power of Belief

“Well, Collum, the day you really believe that, maybe you’ll do something about it!”

Those jarring words were from the man who managed a site with four nuclear power plants.

I was one of his four plant managers. He was both wildly successful and wildly blunt. He could distill a situation into a rather sharp, memorable point. He would then jab that point into the side of your brain. He got your attention; although many people struggled with his approach, I got used to it and improved.

His point brought to the surface a rather obvious fact: It is easy for me to mouth the words of what I believe. It is an entirely different matter for me to live them. He had reason to challenge me. I had been spouting off a platitude to him quite a bit, and yet if you looked at my team, it was hard to see. I have held onto that teachable moment for over 30 years.

As a leadership exercise, consider listing five to ten beliefs you have, and then list how those beliefs show up in your regular life. If you are like me, you might find some gaps between what you profess to believe and your daily actions. I never outgrow the need to do this leadership drill.

I became President/CEO of The Pocket Testament League after decades of leading. Still, I came face-to-face with one such gap. Not only had I been a Christian for decades, but I had also been a pastor for over a decade. I certainly proclaimed that I believed in the power of God’s Word. I could quote Isaiah 55:8-11.

Yet as a pastor, I routinely placed my teaching of the Bible ahead of simply getting people into the Word of God. Did my behavior and teaching effectively demonstrate that I believed in the transformative power of God’s Word alone? Answer: not really. I operated with the idea that people needed help to understand the Bible. And people, that would include me, do need help. I failed to fully appreciate that the Holy Spirit was there to provide that help.

When I came onboard The Pocket Testament League, I came face-to-face with one of those pointed comments, one of those gaps. I came face-to-face with an organization that lived out the Parable of the Sower. In that parable, the Sower throws seeds on hard path, rocks, thorns, and everywhere else; very uncharacteristic of how one would normally plant seed. In that parable, except for the seed that lands on the hard path, the seed always grows. As if the challenge of God’s Word wasn’t enough, The League then deluged me with thousands of yearly testimonies of how God’s Word alone transformed people.

The result was clear: If I was going to lead such an organization, I had to change how I lived. If I professed that I believed in the power of the Word of God—if I believed in the Parable of the Sower—then I needed to share it liberally. I needed to share it among thorns, rocks, and hard paths (to people who metaphorically seemed to bear resemblances).

Then I remembered the “hard path” I had been for many years. I recalled those who kept sowing the Seed. I rejoiced they had not given up.

There is power in living a belief. The hard work comes in inculcating into our lives what we believe. When we do, we both refine our beliefs and shape our character. I will spare you the “hard jab” I received and simply invite you to reflect on how that is going for you. 

*Every day for the last four years, over 25,000 people have been invited to meet Jesus with the Word of God. For more information about The Pocket Testament League, contact David at dcollum@ptl.org. To further unpack the Parable of the Sower, consider Let God Speak.

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About the Author

David Collum 
President & CEO of The Pocket Testament League

I have a passion to see people meet Jesus and get to know God. Why? Because for years I was one of those guys who tried to follow all the rules, do everything right, and I even had some success. In the end though, my focus on “being right” led me to actually behave as if “I was always right”. I was no fun to be around. God in his mercy let things fall apart, and then met me in my brokenness.

I have been fortunate to work in Corporate America, with my last position leading the organization that cared for the nuclear power plants of our nation’s fleet of nuclear submarines. I also had the privilege of working in the Church as a full time Pastor for 12 years.

Today, I serve as the chief executive officer of The Pocket Testament League, where I get to lead this global movement of Christ-followers who are sharing Jesus in His own Words.

How well do you manage your shelf?

This past week I shared a significant chunk of learning content to a school’s leadership team that is on the cusp of diving into the ’24-’25 school year.

It was extremely well received, feedback was outstanding, and kudos to their engagement and level of presence!

But…can you imagine?

It was their first foray into the year’s school calendar – a literal transition point as they shift from their summer mindset and heart-set.

Kids will be roaming the halls in just a few days. The demands of staff, students, and parents are just around the corner. To-do lists and priorities are pounding on the door.

I guarantee you – every note they took and every insight they treasured from our time together – no matter how valuable – was immediately and unapologetically placed on the proverbial shelf.

No worries. We all get it. Learning opportunities like this, though valuable and necessary, impact our flow.

And when the tide is pushing hard, we absolutely must get back to the mission at hand and manage the floodgates well. 

The question for us as developing leaders is: How well do we manage our shelf?

Thursday and Friday of that same week I got to drink from the firehose at GLS2024 (The Global Leadership Summit).

Great speakers. Pages of notes. Fantastic insights. Books I can’t wait to read. An incredibly powerful resource overall.

And it will all go on the shelf for a time, because I’ve got two sermons to finalize, two Convene meetings to facilitate in the coming week, a guest speaker coming in later today…

Priorities.

Even though we may LOVE our work (which I do), “duty” calls, and that means I, like you, have to put a lot of things on the shelf.

For now.

Putting things on the shelf is not the problem. Leaving them on the shelf is the problem.

How well do you manage your shelf?

A client of mine stayed at his seat long after the others had left. I was tidying up the room and packing my things while he mulled over his notes and wrote in the margins.

I had to ask what that was all about.

He said, “When I walk out these doors, everything else in the world is going to hit me again. I know this about me, and I have learned that it is important for me to take a few minutes in the moment to process my notes before I leave the room. Managing them well on the front end helps me to access them more readily on the back end – when I need them.”

This leader – of multiple businesses and a development program of his own – understood how intentional we must be in managing our shelf.

How about you? Do you have a trusted process that helps you incorporate new learning into your life and leadership?

Here are two action items for you to consider as an intentionally developing purpose-driven leader:

1.     Don’t neglect the act of consistently “stocking” your shelf

2.    Develop a trusted process for managing your shelf that intentionally incorporates new learning into your leadership MO

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About the Author

Ken Stewart, CEO Advisory Board Chair

Ken Stewart is the principal and founder of The H3 Leader, an Executive Coach, Convene Chair for two Christian Executive Leader Peer2Peer Advisory Teams, and the Central IL Area Chair for the entire downstate region of IL. His breadth of experience spans the business, leadership, training, project management, and pastoral worlds and includes: 19 years of engagement across a variety of disciplines in the corporate environment; over a decade of supervisory and managerial experience; seven years as a corporate trainer; 8+ years in business ownership; 14+ years in pastoral ministry in both large and small churches; and 9+ years in the executive coaching realm.

His strength is in helping others—leading them through problem resolution and tension management; seeking efficient and effective solutions to challenges; offering opportunities for others to develop and master their professional contributions; and working with senior leadership to help them consistently meet or exceed the ever-changing needs of the communities they serve.

Born and raised in Central IL, he lives outside Peoria with his bride Beth (33+ years), dog “Pepé”, and cats “Ollie” & “Rusty”. Their daughter Anna recently graduated from his alma mater (Illinois State University) and is living in the Bloomington area.